Day 92: How to Break a Bad Habit

Ever tried to quit something? Of course you have. We all have. And if you're anything like me, it usually goes something like this:

Day 1: "Right, this is it. Today marks the beginning of the new me. No more arriving late."

Day 2: "Still going strong! I am literally unstoppable. Should probably write a self-help book at this point."

Day 3: "Well, that was a nice experiment. Back to my regularly scheduled programming."

Sound familiar? Thought so.

Bad habits are like that one relative who overstays their welcome at Christmas. You know the one. Shows up uninvited, eats all the food, and somehow manages to still be there when everyone else has gone home. You're not quite sure how they got so comfortable, but now you're stuck with them.

That's what habits do. They make themselves at home in your life until you can't remember a time before they were there.

Why Your Brain Is Actually Working Against You 

Here's something that might make you feel a bit better: your brain is literally wired to keep you doing the same things over and over again. So when you fail to break a habit, it's not entirely your fault. It's your brain being, well, a brain.

According to this book I read called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear , habits form because your brain is constantly looking for ways to save energy. Once it finds a pattern that works even if it's not good for you, it goes on autopilot.

It's a bit like when God hardened Pharaoh's heart in Exodus. Except in this case, your brain is hardening your neural pathways. Deep, right? I know, sometimes I surprise myself with these theological parallels.

Wait, I've gone off on a tangent again, haven't I? Let's get back to it.

The Problem with Going Cold Turkey 

Now, you might be thinking, "I'll just stop doing the bad thing. Simple!"

Ah, if only it were that easy. Cold turkey works for some people, but for most of us, it's about as effective as trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.

Jesus knew this. In Matthew 12:43-45, he tells this story about an unclean spirit leaving a person, wandering around, and then coming back with seven more spirits worse than itself because the "house" (that's you) was empty.

The point? Nature abhors a vacuum. You can't just remove a bad habit; you've got to replace it with something else.

Your Step-by-Step Guide to Breaking Bad (Habits, That Is)

So how do we actually do this? How do we break the bad without breaking ourselves? Here are some thoughts:

1. Get Real About Your Why

Before you try to change anything, ask yourself: "Why do I actually want to change this?" And I don't mean some vague "because it's bad for me" reason. I mean the proper, deep-down, honest-to-goodness reason.

Proverbs 16:2 says, "All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD." (NIV)

In other words, God sees right through our flimsy justifications. So you might as well be honest with yourself from the get-go.

If you're trying to quit smoking because your partner keeps nagging you about it, that's probably not going to work long-term. But if you're quitting because you want to be around to see your grandkids grow up, now that's got some staying power.

2. Start Ridiculously Small (No, Even Smaller Than That)

This is where most people go wrong. We decide to change, and suddenly we're going to transform into completely different humans overnight.

"I'm not just going to quit sugar, I'm also going to run 10k every day, learn Japanese, and become a master at the ukulele!"

And then we wonder why we fail.

There's this brilliant book called "Tiny Habits" by BJ Fogg (see how I did that? Slipping in another self-help reference like you asked?) where he talks about starting so small it feels almost ridiculous.

Want to start flossing? Just commit to flossing one tooth. Want to start exercising? Do one push-up.

It's a bit like when Jesus talks about the mustard seed in Matthew 17:20, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (NIV)

Start tiny. Let it grow.

3. Know Your Triggers (The Bad Kind, Not the Twitter Kind)

Every habit has a trigger. Figure out what yours is, and you're halfway there.

For most, stress is a trigger for mindless scrolling on social media.

Research from Charles Duhigg, who wrote "The Power of Habit", shows that habits follow a loop: cue, routine, reward. Identify the cue, and you can change the routine.

It's actually quite biblical when you think about it. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul writes, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (NIV)

That "way out" often starts with recognising when temptation is coming your way in the first place.

4. Replace, Don't Erase

Remember that bit about nature abhorring a vacuum? You can't just remove a habit; you need to put something in its place.

The Bible's full of this "put off/put on" concept. In Ephesians 4:22-24, Paul advises, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self... and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (NIV)

In other words, don't just stop doing the bad thing; start doing a good thing instead.

5. Embrace Failure (It's Going to Happen Anyway)

Here's the real secret to breaking a habit without losing your mind: expect to mess up. Plan for it. Welcome it, even. Because it's going to happen.

According to a study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, people make the same resolution 10 times, on average, before they actually succeed. TEN TIMES. That's not failure; that's persistence.

So when you inevitably slip up (notice I said "when," not "if"), don't beat yourself up about it. Just think, "Right, that's one of my ten attempts down. Nine more to go!"

In Conclusion

If you take nothing else away from my ramblings today, remember this: breaking a habit isn't about willpower; it's about strategy. It's not about being perfect; it's about being persistent.

So the next time you find yourself slipping back into that old habit you're trying to break, instead of thinking, "I'm such a failure," try thinking, "This is just part of the process."

And maybe, just maybe, on the 11th attempt, you'll surprise yourself.

Because this is what we do now!