Let's be honest for a minute. Motivation is a fickle friend. It shows up all excited on January 1st, hanging around just long enough for you to buy expensive workout gear, some nice self help books, then disappears faster than free food at an event.
The Bible puts it rather poetically in Proverbs 16:9: "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD determines their steps." (NIV)
Which sometimes feels like divine code for: "That brilliant five-year plan you made? Adorable. Now watch this plot twist."
I remember reading somewhere that Thomas Edison failed more than 10,000 times before successfully inventing the light bulb. When asked about it, he supposedly said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
And I'm thinking... mate, after attempt 9,997, did you never just look at the bulb and say, "You know what? Candles aren't that bad. Fire is quite cosy, actually."
The Mythical Well of Willpower
There's this persistent myth that motivation is something you either have or don't, like blue eyes or an opinion about pineapple on pizza. But psychology tells us something different.
In his book "Drive," Daniel Pink suggests that true motivation comes from autonomy (the desire to direct our own lives), mastery (the urge to get better at stuff), and purpose (the yearning to contribute to something larger than ourselves).
Notice how "watching inspirational videos while eating crisps in bed" doesn't make the list? Shocking, I know.
Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania found that "grit", perseverance and passion for long-term goals is a better predictor of success than talent or IQ. Which explains why that absolutely brilliant person you knew at school is now spending their days arguing with strangers on Twitter while someone with supposedly "average" talents is changing the world.
But here's the thing about grit: it's not particularly glamorous, is it? Instagram doesn't have a filter that makes "showing up when you don't feel like it" look sexy.
The Practical Bits That Actually Help
So how do we actually stay motivated when life decides to use our dreams for target practice? A few thoughts:
1. Shrink the Change
Researchers Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer discovered what they call "the progress principle", the single most important motivator is making progress in meaningful work, even if that progress is tiny.
Can't write that book? Write one paragraph. Can't face the gym? Do a 5-minute workout. The momentum from small wins can be startlingly powerful.
As Jesus said about faith the size of a mustard seed in Matthew 17:20, even the smallest bit can move mountains. The same applies to actions toward your goals.
2. Find Your People (The Right Ones)
Proverbs 13:20 reminds us: "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." (NIV)
Show me your five closest friends and I'll show you your future, as the saying goes. Research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland suggests that the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure.
So maybe ditch the mate who responds to your dreams with "Yeah, but what if it doesn't work out?" in favour of someone who asks, "What's the first step?"
3. Remember the "Why" When You Forget the "How"
Friedrich Nietzsche (not exactly a ray of sunshine, that one) got something right when he said, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
When the methods get tough, reconnecting with your purpose can reignite that motivational spark. Why did you start this journey in the first place? What matters about it? Who will benefit when you succeed?
Paul puts it wonderfully in Philippians 3:13-14: "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus." (NIV)
4. Treat Yourself Like Someone You're Responsible For
Oddly enough, studies show we're often better at helping others than ourselves. We'll move mountains to give medicine to our pet, but neglect our own prescriptions.
Psychologist Jordan Peterson suggests we should care for ourselves with the same dedication we'd show to someone we love. Would you berate a friend for a setback the way you criticise yourself? Would you let someone you care about give up on a meaningful goal because it got difficult?
Probably not. So extend the same grace to yourself.
5. Celebrate Properly (Not Just in Your Head)
We're remarkably bad at acknowledging our wins. We hit a target and immediately move the goalposts, then wonder why we feel perpetually inadequate.
The ancient Israelites built physical reminders altars and monuments to commemorate significant events. They didn't just mentally note God's faithfulness; they created tangible symbols they could return to.
What are your stones of remembrance? How do you mark progress in ways that remind you during tough times that you've overcome before?
The Plot Twist About Motivation
Here's the bit they don't tell you in those motivational YouTube videos with the dramatic music: motivation often comes after you start, not before.
Neurologically speaking, action creates motivation more reliably than motivation creates action. It's backward from what we expect. We think we need to feel motivated to start, but actually, we need to start to feel motivated.
As author Mark Manson puts it rather colourfully (but accurately): "Action isn't just the effect of motivation; it's also the cause of it."
I find Ecclesiastes 11:4 particularly relevant here: "Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap." (NIV)
If you wait for perfect conditions or perfect motivation you'll never begin.
A Final Thought From Someone Who Still Struggles with This
The truth? I still have days when motivation abandons me completely. Days when the blank page looks like an accusation, when my goals seem more like delusions of grandeur than achievable targets.
But I've learned that motivation doesn't have to be this dramatic, chest-thumping, mountain-conquering emotion. Sometimes it's just the quiet decision to do one small thing. To write one sentence. To make one call. To try one more time.
As author G.K. Chesterton put it: "The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried."
Perhaps the same could be said of many of our abandoned dreams and goals.
So here's to staying motivated not because it's easy, but precisely because it isn't.
Because This is what we do Now
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