Right, so today I've been thinking about success. Not because I'm feeling particularly successful (though it is my birthday and I've got this whole CEO thing going on with three companies under my belt). But more because... well, what exactly is it, innit?
"Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal." That's what they say, anyway. But who's "they"? And what on earth does that actually mean when it's at home?
I was sitting in my garden earlier today (well, more hovering between my couch and fridge if we're being brutally honest), and I started wondering why some people seem to crack on with life while others just... don't. Is it talent? Resources? Luck? A particularly persistent mother who rings you up every Sunday to ask about your "career progression"?
The Secret Formula Nobody Wants to Hear
You know what's fascinating? In his book "Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell bangs on about this 10,000-hour rule. The idea is you need roughly 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become world-class at something.
Ten. Thousand. Hours.
That's roughly five years of full-time work. No wonder we're all looking for shortcuts, hey?
But here's the bit that proper messes with your head: studies from the University of Pennsylvania show that it's not just about putting in the hours. It's about how you respond when things go pear-shaped. They call it "productive failure", this idea that the people who succeed most are actually the ones who've been absolutely rubbish at something first, learned from it, and kept going.
My brain doesn't like this information one bit. It would much prefer if success was about finding the right Instagram filter or drinking the correct shade of green smoothie.
What's Your Mountain?
We've all got our mountains to climb, haven't we? Sometimes it's building a business. Sometimes it's just getting through the day without telling your boss what you really think of their "team-building exercises." Or just surviving the whole day without telling your lecturer to just "fuck off!"
I remember when I started my first company. Terrifying doesn't cover it. It was like standing at the bottom of Table Mountain in flip-flops, looking up and thinking, "Right then, let's have it."
The thing is, success isn't about reaching the top of that mountain. Because, plot twist, there's always another flippin' mountain right behind it. Success is about learning to enjoy the climb. Or at least not minding the blisters too much. Because in the end the destination doesn't really count, what does is the journey there!
As Brené Brown says in "Daring Greatly": "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." Thank you Miss Brown.
The Peanut Butter Sandwich Theory of Success
Stay with me on this one.
When I was about seven, I made my first peanut butter sandwich. It was... ambitious. More peanut butter ended up on the counter, my face, and somehow the ceiling than on the actual bread. My granma just looked at me and said, "Well, that's a mess, isn't it?" (In Ndebele).
But here's the thing I still ate that sandwich. And the next one was marginally better. By sandwich number 50, I was practically a professional. Gordon Ramsay of peanut butter distribution, me.
That's success, that is. Not the perfect sandwich on attempt one. It's making a proper dog's dinner of it, cleaning up, and having another go. And another. And another.
The Bit Where I Try to Sound Wise
Look, I'm not saying I've got it all figured out. Most days I'm just winging it like everyone else, hoping nobody notices I sometimes have to Google how to spell "definitely" (definately? definetly? why is this word so complicated?).
But if there's one thing I've learned from my journey so far, it's this: success isn't a destination. It's not a number in your bank account or a title on your business card.
Success is waking up every morning and moving, even just a little bit, towards something that matters to you. On the good days, you might run. On the bad days, you might crawl. But as long as you're moving, you're succeeding. In fact, bringing it closer to home, Success is writing a single blog article every weekday morning for 52 days no break!
Dr. Carol Dweck calls this the "growth mindset" in her book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success." The idea that our abilities aren't fixed, they're constantly developing. That we're all works in progress.
I quite like that, actually. Takes the pressure off, doesn't it?
The Last Bit Before I Go To Sleep, coz WTF!
So there we have it. Success isn't crossing some magical finish line where confetti falls from the sky and Morgan Freeman narrates your life achievements (though that would be brilliant).
It's the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal.
It's showing up day after day.
It's making slightly better peanut butter sandwiches.
It's climbing your mountain one step at a time.
It's doing one thing over and over again even though it seems like there no change.
It's keeping on keeping on even though there isn't anything to keep.
And maybe, just maybe, it's remembering to enjoy the view along the way.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." – Matthew 6:34
Right, I'm off to put warm the blankies. Keep on realising friends.
Because This is what we do now!
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