Day 51: Gratitude

Have you ever noticed how we're always chasing after the next thing? The next promotion, the next fitness goal, the next relationship milestone. We're proper obsessed with progress, aren't we? Always looking forward, rarely looking around.

I was rushing to an appointment last week, late as usual, when I nearly collided with an elderly gentleman who held the door for me. I mumbled a quick "thanks" without even looking at him, and then it hit me, I wasn't actually grateful at all. I was just performing the social ritual, wasn't I? Going through the motions like a robot programmed to mimic human courtesy.

The Gratitude Gap: Where Did It Go?

Here's the thing about gratitude, we all know we should be doing it, like flossing or eating more veg. But somewhere between our morning coffee and scrolling through everyone's highlights reel on Instagram, we seem to forget.

Robert Emmons, the bloke who's basically the Indiana Jones of gratitude research, found that people who regularly practice gratitude experience a massive boost in happiness and a reduction in depression. In his book "Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier," he goes on and on about it. But do we listen? Nah, we're too busy complaining about the weather or moaning about traffic. 

The Awkward Side-Effects of Actually Being Grateful

I tried this gratitude journal malarkey last month. Started writing down three things I was grateful for each day. Day one: enthusiastic. Day two: thoughtful. Day three: staring at a blank page thinking, "My coffee? Again? Really scraping the barrel now, aren't we?"

But here's what they don't tell you about practicing gratitude it makes you feel properly vulnerable, doesn't it? There's something about acknowledging the good stuff that forces you to admit you're not entirely self-sufficient. That others have contributed to your life. That you needed help. And Lord knows, none of us want to admit that, do we?

Brené Brown, in her book "Daring Greatly," talks about this connection between gratitude and vulnerability. She found that the people who could embrace vulnerability were also the ones who could experience real joy and gratitude. The rest of us are just too busy building emotional fortresses against potential disappointment, aren't we?

For those of you who need cold, hard science to be convinced (I see you, sceptics), here's the deal:

A study from the University of California found that people who wrote gratitude letters experienced significantly better mental health than those who didn't. The really interesting bit? The benefits were still there three months later.

Another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who expressed gratitude toward each other regularly reported higher relationship satisfaction. Turns out saying "thanks for taking out the bin" might be more romantic than roses. Who knew?

Dr. Alex Korb, in his book "The Upward Spiral," explains that gratitude actually triggers dopamine and serotonin production in the brain, the same feel-good chemicals that antidepressants try to regulate. Your brain literally cannot be anxious and grateful at the same time. It's like trying to breathe in and out simultaneously. Good luck with that.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." – Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do. Cooking dinner. Sitting in traffic. Dealing with that colleague who chews too loudly. All of it.

The Bible mentions gratitude and thanksgiving over 150 times. That's not a suggestion; that's a theme. And yet, we treat it like an optional extra, don't we? Like the fancy seat warmers in a car. Nice to have, but not essential to the journey.

Practical Ways to Be Grateful When You Really Don't Feel Like It

So what do we actually do when we're feeling about as grateful as a wet cat being given a bath?

Start Ridiculously Small - Be grateful for your toes. Seriously. Try it. "Thank you for my toes. They help me balance and look quite amusing." See? Not so hard, was it?

The "At Least" Game - Whatever's going wrong, find the "at least." "I'm stuck in traffic, but at least I have a car." "It's raining, but at least I don't have to water the garden." It's not toxic positivity if it's genuinely helpful.

Use Technology Against Itself - Set a daily reminder on your phone that says, "What didn't suck today?" A bit crude, perhaps, but effective for the gratitude-resistant among us.

The Five-Second Rule (Not the one about dropping food) - When someone does something for you, count to five while looking them in the eye and saying thank you. It feels awkward. Good. That means you're actually present for the gratitude rather than just going through the motions.

Where I Try to Inspire You

I'm not saying we should all skip around pretending everything's sunshine and rainbows. But maybe, just maybe, we could get a bit better at noticing the good that's already there.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." – Psalm 28:7

Heart leaping with joy seems a bit ambitious for a Monday morning, doesn't it? But perhaps that's exactly the point. Perhaps gratitude isn't about feeling a particular way, but choosing a particular perspective. Not because we're forcing positivity, but because we're acknowledging reality. the whole of it, not just the bits that annoy us.

Word of the day: "Gratitude isn't just saying thanks, it's paying attention."

Because This is What we do Now!