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Day 24: Nature vs Nurture (You vs Everything)


DISCLAIMER: THERE ISN'T ANYTHING MUCH WRITTEN IN THIS THAT YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW. INSTEAD OF WASTING THE NEXT 15 MINS OF YOUR LIFE, JUST GO ON WITH IT. WELL IN CASE YOU WANT TO WASTE IT ANYWAY, DO NOT READ ANYTHING IN BRACKETS OR IN RED TEXT, THAT'S A BIT OUT OF CONTEXT USUALLY MY MIND OFF RAMPING. IT WILL SAVE YOU SOME TIME TO DO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. (SOMETIMES IT'S GENUINE LINKS TO ARTICLES WITH MORE INFO SO READ AND CLICK IT). 

You decide you’re going to wake up at 5 AM every day, drink water like you’re training for a camel marathon, eat healthy, read books, pray, meditate, and just become an all-around better human (apparently that's what they do, lol). Sounds good, right? Mhm...until day two, when you’re snoozing alarms, eating chips for breakfast, and somehow convincing yourself that "life is short" or "YOLO" is a valid excuse for self-sabotage.

Now, why does this happen? Well yesterday I wrote an article about how change is going against your true nature and that is hard it's uncomfortable. But then I woke up today and I was like ah, maybe it’s not just because of you (although, let’s be real, you play a BIG part and you know it!). The other side of the coin is, your environment and the people around you have a massive influence on whether you succeed or flop like a fish out of water.

Your Environment Shapes You More Than You Think

You ever notice how, when you hang around people who are constantly complaining, you start finding more things to complain about? (I'm guessing you haven't because it really just naturally becomes a normal thing to do). Or when you’re in a group of gym addicts, suddenly you feel like you should be eating protein and lifting weights? That’s because humans are naturally wired to adapt to their surroundings. It’s called social contagion basically, we catch behaviors like the flu. But don't take my word for it, that's the picture of the guy (Gustave Le Bon) who first can up with the concept about 230 years ago called behavioural contagion at the time. 

Psychologist Dr. David McClelland once said that the people you spend the most time with determine up to 95% of your success or failure. (I don’t know how accurate 95% is, but let’s pretend it’s 100% because it makes my point stronger.) If you’re surrounded by disciplined, motivated, and forward-thinking people, you naturally absorb some of that energy. But if you’re around procrastinators, complainers, and excuse-makers, well… good luck.

And before you start thinking, “But I’m different! I have willpower!” Listen up smart a**, willpower is like a phone battery. It drains fast. Your environment, on the other hand, is like a charger. If you keep placing yourself in situations that support your goals, you won’t have to rely on motivation alone.

You Need People Watching You

You know that feeling when you promise yourself something in your head, and then you break that promise five minutes later? But when you tell someone else, suddenly you feel guilty if you don’t follow through? That’s accountability.

A study from the American Society of Training and Development, ASTD  (yes, that exists so does the FBI, CIA, DEA, SWAT, MI6, SVR) found that people are 65% more likely to achieve their goals if they commit to someone else. And if they have regular check-ins? 95%. (Look at that, another convincing percentage!)

This is why personal trainers exist. Why book clubs work. Why confession is a thing in church. There’s something about knowing someone is watching that makes you try harder. (That, or the fear of being judged. Either way, it works.)

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Translation: if you’re trying to improve, you need people around you who make you sharper, not duller.

How THOUGH?

Uhm, I don't know. I think you can:

  1. Audit Your Circle – Look at the five people you spend the most time with. Do they push you forward or pull you back? If your biggest influence is your lazy coworker who thinks life is just about "vibes," good luck on your vibey retirement.
  2. Join a Community – If you want to be fit, join a fitness group. If you want to be rich, network with financially literate people. If you want to be a better person, find others on the same journey. (And no, Twitter arguments don’t count as “networking.”)
  3. Create Triggers in Your Environment – Want to read more? Put books where you’ll see them. Want to eat healthy? Keep junk food out of sight. Want to stop using your phone so much? (Okay, I won’t lie. I don’t have an answer for that one. Let me know if you find one.)
  4. Get an Accountability Partner – Find one person who actually wants to see you win. Check in with them regularly. Let them call you out when you start slipping. (And if you ignore them, at least block them respectfully.)
  5. Embrace the Discomfort – Growth is awkward. It feels weird. People might even laugh at you for changing. But remember: “Do not be deceived: bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Stick with the right people, and the change will come.

So It’s Not Just You. It’s Where You Are.

You’re not failing because you’re weak, lazy, or incapable. You’re failing because you’re trying to win in an environment that’s designed to make you lose (Wow! I felt that) . If you want to change, change what surrounds you. Build a space where the path of least resistance leads to success.

And if nothing else, at least start with one small step: find one person today who pushes you to be better. And if you can’t think of anyone… well, you might be the toxic one. (Just saying.)

Giddy Up my People! Let’s do small changes, because This is what we do now.

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