Day 23: Change is Hard Because,

DISCLAIMER: THERE ISN'T ANYTHING MUCH WRITTEN IN THIS THAT YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW. INSTEAD OF WASTING THE NEXT 15 MINS OF YOUR LIFE, JUST GO ON WITH IT. WELL IN CASE YOU WANT TO WASTE IT ANYWAY, DO NOT READ ANYTHING IN BRACKETS OR IN RED TEXT, THAT'S A BIT OUT OF CONTEXT USUALLY MY MIND OFF RAMPING. IT WILL SAVE YOU SOME TIME TO DO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. (SOMETIMES IT'S GENUINE LINKS TO ARTICLES WITH MORE INFO SO READ AND CLICK IT). 

it's hard, well for most people myself included. And it’s not just because we don't want to change no, it's not even the fact that naturally we’re creatures of habit. It’s a complex puzzle made up of deep-seated psychological wiring, social influences, and even spirituality believe it or not. Honestly just take moment and think about all the things that you said you will change. No I'm not talking about in the last decade or 100 years, just now these past few weeks just when the year started, what promise did you make to yourself and kept for a good 48 hours then returned back to your original self. 

One reason why change is so hard is because it often feels like trying to reinvent the very laws of nature. Imagine trying trying to hold your breath for a good 2 minutes or going for 3 minutes without blinking. (I know there are some psychos ready to fight with me like,  hey! I can hold my breath for 2 min 30 seconds, chill out Mr whale that's not the point).

 It's that uncomfortable feeling in the chest like something weighing heavy down on you or the dryness of the eyes and the itching and the fact that according to nature humans have to blink after every 2-10 secs (yes, I just googled it) and need to breathe after every 5 seconds (googled it too duh,  who goes around with such information in their head.) These are are just laws of nature around us and in the same way there are laws of nature within us hence trying to do something outside or against these laws results in an uncomfortable feeling and eventually going back to the same old same old. 

This phenomenon, often called the status quo bias, means we tend to cling to what we know simply because it’s easier than venturing into a weird territory. (more on the status quo bias after I do an intensive research on it, right now I just want to finish this article before 06:00 been at it for the past 1h 30mins, not that you care).

The Fear Factor

At the heart of change lies a powerful emotion: fear. It isn’t only fear of failure but also the fear of the unknown. Cognitive science tells us that uncertainty triggers our fight-or-flight response even if there’s no real danger. Daniel Kahneman’s research on loss aversion suggests that we feel the pain of potential loss much more acutely than the pleasure of an equivalent gain. This imbalance means that even the promise of a better future can be overshadowed by our dread of losing the comfort of our current situation.

The Stoic philosopher Seneca said (because I sound smarter every time I quote some Greek philosopher, I mean ancient Rome for no particular reason, even so out of context for that matter):

"It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it."

In our case, however, we may be wasting time not because we’re unproductive, but because we’re so busy protecting ourselves from the possibility of pain.

Social Chains and Cultural Norms

Here is the other problem about Change, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Our surroundings from family and friends to the broader cultural norms play a significant role in either supporting or stifling our efforts. Social psychologist Kurt Lewin described change as a process of unfreezing, moving, and refreezing. The “unfreezing” stage can be especially daunting because it involves breaking away from the comfortable norms that society has cemented over years. When everyone around us is doing things “the usual way,” stepping out of line can feel like standing on a stage with all eyes fixed on you.

The Nature Within Us

Deep down, our self-identity is wrapped up in our beliefs, values, and past experiences. Changing means not only altering our actions but also rethinking who we are. This is where cognitive dissonance comes in this is the uncomfortable feeling that arises when our new ideas clash with our established self-image. Our minds will often resist this redefinition, clinging to outdated beliefs even if they no longer serve us. And then we excuse ourselves using a 1000 year old saying "Mhm I'm just not a morning person', 'I'm just not a (gym, business, relationship, church going, nice, good, beautiful) person.

Charles Duhigg (great guy) in his book ,The Power of Habit illustrate how deeply ingrained our routines are, and how transforming them requires us to disrupt not only our actions but our very mindset. Go and read his book so that I can get a 10% commission for promoting it, that's the guy and the book there. 

The Journey Is the Reward

It is important to remember that change is rarely instantaneous. It’s like the slow process of sculpting: with every small chip away at the old block, a new form gradually emerges. This journey can be messy, with setbacks and unexpected turns, but each step is a building block for growth. As Aristotle (Ancient Rome Philosopher, I mean Greek)  wisely observed,

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

Change, then, isn’t about a single moment of inspiration it’s about the cumulative effect of daily decisions, the quiet resolve to do something different even when it’s scary.

The next time you face the challenge of change, remember: change is hard, don't bother you are fine the way you are. But if you want to be stubborn then start by changing the little things in your daily habits, for one you can read my article every weekday morning until I also decide that this change of mine is hard then you also need to decide that it's hard too. 

It's these small changes that come together and make Big changes and allow us to grow. Let's Do Small changes, because This is what we do now.