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Ah, habits. The silent architects of our lives, (usually bad ones huh?) the builders of our dreams (of course the few good ones), and the unseen forces that shape our destiny (ones that we do not even know we possess). Whether it's the EMP (Exercise, Meditation, Prayer) framework or the simple act of brushing your teeth every night, habits are what turn intentions into reality. But how do we create habits that stick? How do we consciously create those good habits that shape our hope s and dreams? Let’s talk a bit about the science of habit formation.
The Anatomy of a Habit: Cue, Routine, Reward
Charles Duhigg, in his brilliant book The Power of Habit, breaks down habits into a simple loop: Cue → Routine → Reward. Let’s unpack this.
Cue: The trigger that starts the habit. It could be a time of day, an emotion, a sense (sight, sound, touch, smell or taste) or even a specific location.
Routine: The behavior itself, whether it’s a 5-minute workout or scrolling endlessly through Tik Tok (the powerful one from the Gen Z's all the way to the Boomers II got everyone on a leash. Funny how it's called 'tik tok'-check your clock, very ironic isn't it?).
Reward: The payoff. This could be the endorphin rush after exercising or the dopamine hit from a “like” on your latest post.
Here’s the kicker: your brain LOVES rewards. Learning how to capitalise on these rewards consciously is the ultimate hack to develop good habits that help us. If I knew exactly how to do this I would share some few tips, but well I don't (sorry).
Biblical and Traditional Wisdom on Habits
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Training is just another word for forming habits. Start young, start now, and those patterns will carry you through life. In Ndebele we say "Isigogo sigoqwa sisasemanzi", all this just translates to the one simple course of action. If you want to start a new habit, start it now so that it can build and develop together with you and form a part of you.
Even Jesus had habits. Luke 5:16 tells us, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Consistent, intentional prayer was part of His routine, a habit that anchored Him amid His demanding mission. (And if the Son of God needed habits, who are we to wing it?)
The Elephant and the Rider
Here’s an interesting metaphor from psychologist Jonathan Haidt: your brain is like an elephant (your emotional, instinctive side, what most would call the subconscious mind) being ridden by a rider (your logical, planning side, the conscious mind). The rider might want to head to the gym, but the elephant, oh, the lazy, the scroller, the ambitious-less snack-loving elephant just wants to stay on the couch.
The trick? Make the path easier for the elephant. Lay out your workout clothes the night before. Keep your meditation cushion in plain sight. Reduce friction so that the rider and the elephant are on the same page. And above all, layout the reward in clear sight right at the end of the desired action for the elephant to see and head towards. More of the carrot and the stick but making sure that it does get the carrot so that even next time it would have the memory and do the action.
Actionable Tips for Habit Formation
Start Small James Clear, in Atomic Habits, emphasises the power of tiny habits. Want to start running? Begin with just putting on your running shoes. (No, seriously, that’s it. The hard part is starting.)
Stack Your Habits Tie your new habit to an existing one. For example, after brushing your teeth, do 10 push-ups. This creates a natural flow. Man! I remember when I was reading this book I was like this man is a genius, little did I know that he was actually a genius.
Celebrate Small Wins Remember the reward loop? Celebrate every time you complete your habit, even if it’s just a mental fist bump. (I actually do this “Nice one, self!”). Find a way of feeding that lazy sluggard in your mind. I will give you a little analogy that I just thought of myself ( I have no idea what an analogy is, I do hope though that after reading you might think to yourself, Man! This boy is a genius!) Figure out what your elephant is and dangle the reward in front of it, so if your elephant is a monkey like Tim Urban then dangle the banana, if it's a toddler dangle some candy. ( I hope that makes sense)
Embrace Imperfection Miss a day? Don’t sweat it. Progress over perfection. As the Japanese proverb says, “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” POWER!
Find Your Why A habit without a purpose is like a ship without a compass. Dig deep and find the reason behind your habit. Write it down. Keep it visible.
Final Thoughts: Build Your Cathedral
There’s an old tale about three bricklayers. When asked what they’re doing, the first says, “I’m laying bricks.” The second replies, “I’m building a wall.” The third declares, “I’m constructing a cathedral.”
Habits are your bricks. Lay them down with intention, and over time, you’ll build a life that resonates with purpose. Remember, good habits build the life that we hope and dream for.
So, as you set out on your journey to create lasting habits, remember this: small wins lead to big momentum. Show up, stay consistent, do not be too hard, reward yourself and watch as the seemingly mundane transforms into the extraordinary.
Let’s go, brick by brick. 🚀 Because This is what we do Now.
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